Wow. I have had this blog for over two years now. Some of the more serious subjects I have touched on are (in no particular order): my relationship with God, struggles I have gone through in college, having a long-distance relationship with Art, the Gardasil vaccine, politics, fasting, Lent, job frustrations, wedding plans, immigration, and global warming.
But none of those subjects has produced much opposition in the comments. Until yesterday. The topic in question? Homeschooling. I had two anonymous comments from people who completely disagreed with me (and they have a right to do so). In the past, I might have deleted these comments, or ignored them.
At first I said I wasn't going to leave a lengthy reply, but I changed my mind. I'm not going to touch on every point, but rather address it as a whole. The first comment was quite lengthy, so I summarized it into these main concerns:
1. I will not be able to teach my kids on a whole range of subjects better than qualified individuals who spend years of their life learning their fields before even thinking of teaching.
2. If my child has developmental issues (slow learner, dyslexic, or simply learns differently than other kids), I will not be qualified to assess and rectify this.
3. I as a parent, with the best of intentions, will cocoon my child(ren) within a very small, conservative world. It will always be me who makes those decisions and teaches them in whatever capacity I know how, and as a result, they will be limited in their development.
4. They will never know what it means to have other adults in school as role models.
5. They will never be able to converse with anyone, and will be socially inept.
6. They will be quite awkward with members of the opposite sex.
7. When they turn 18, they will suddenly be on their own, in a world they do not understand. They will be oh-so-very innocent. They will be confronted with a world that suddenly, I cannot filter through my own rose-colored glasses, and they will be unprepared, because I was too proud to consider that someone out there actually does know better.
First of all, I want to thank you, whoever you are, for reading my blog, and being interested in my life, and voicing your concerns with care and intelligence. I’m being serious. I’m not hurt or offended. I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing your thoughts with me.
Second, I have actually heard all of these arguments against homeschooling, I have thought them through, and I honestly don’t think that any of them are valid [with the possible exception of the one about learning disabilities. But as my mom likes to say, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.] I think it is completely possible to homeschool a child and raise him or her to be fully functional in every area of life.
Third, even though I'm not a mom yet, the majority of the blogs that I read are mommy blogs. Women who have decided to share the daily joys and struggles of raising a family. And, on several occasions, I have heard their frustrations when someone has called them a bad parent, criticizing their methods simply because that person would not do the same thing.
And all those mothers have said this: it is not up to anyone else to decide how other parents should raise their children, and it is not up to anyone else to decide how YOU should raise YOUR children. Every parent knows their own children better than anybody else, and unless we are talking about extreme situations like abuse or neglect, nobody has the right to tell a parent that they are “doing it wrong."
If parents want to send their children to public school, great! If they want to homeschool their children, great! I have known plenty of well-adjusted youth and adults who came from both camps, and I see nothing wrong with either method. Ultimately, the decision is up to me and my husband, and no one else.
9 comments:
Hello Jenene!
I came across your blog and was interested in the past couple of posts about homeschooling. I totally agree with you. I was a little shocked at "Anonymous's" comments because I am a homeschool graduate and most of my friends are as well, and I wouldn't qualify any of them as socially inept (and I'm not jus saying that because I was homeschooled; objectively, they are very sociable - my husband went to public school and he didn't see any lapses in our social skills either). Many public schoolers actually could be qualified as "socially inept" as well - I don't think it depends so much on the schooling as other factors in a person's life.
I'm a newlywed as well, and though we don't have kids yet either, and probably won't for another couple of years, I'm definitely planning on homeschooling my children. I'll keep tabs on your blog now that I've found it!
-Callie
I agree with you Jenene. I don't believe that anyone should have the right to criticize other parents for homeschooling or any other parenting issue. There are no perfect parents in the world, and like you said unless it is neglect or abuse, others should stay out of it.
Personally I could never do it - I'm not a teacher, I'm a teller. Plus I see the amount of work my sister puts in to her students (granted she has over 20 of them) and it makes me tired! lol
Besides, if people are worried about "socializing", I'll move out there with my 15 children (according to my cousin, that's how many I'll have) and your kids can socialize with them! haha
wow! good response. i agree. you will know your child better then anyone else in this world and you will know what type of education is the best route for each child God gives you. for some that might mean private school...for others...public....and others...homeschool.
i went to private and public school and in hindsight i can see parts of this method of schooling that added to making me a very insecure young women. HOWEVER, that is my story and everyone has a different story and a different filter.
good good post jenene! xo
Hi Jenene, once again you do your Mother proud. I believe there are so many different circumstances and situations that surround this issue of homeschooling versus public schooling. I can see in your and Art's situation that homeschooling might be the way to go, plus you'd probably be a good teacher. I agree, it was a good post. Love you.
ps i was just reading one of the blogs i often peruse and came across the following post. i thought of you so i thought i'd send it to you
http://mommylife.net/archives/2009/03/should_i_homesc.html
Stick to your guns and do what's right for your family, Jenene. There will always be people who disagree and they have a right to, but you have the best vantage point to decide what is best for your kids. I think a lot of it depends on what your school location options are - there are some neighborhoods in which I wouldn't dream of sending a kid to public school if I lived there! Every family has to do what is right for them. Good post.
Hugs,
Marsha
I got to say it is a hard decision whether or not to homeschool or send them to public school. I've got my oldest who is 6 in kindergarten, and he is dealing with his first bully. It's hard for me to just sit there and not be able to do much about it. I thought of homeschooling when this bully told my son that he hated him and he was going to cut his head off. But I know if I took him out of school he would be upset, he loves it so much.
I agree with you that just because you home school doesn't mean that they won't have the same life as a child that goes to public school. You will definitely know what is right for your child when the time comes.
Loved reading your blog.
As an educator, or some-time educator :) seeing as I don't have my "own" classroom for a couple weeks...
I totally respect your decision to home school, and we will probably do the same. I don't believe the public school system is the best it can be, and if awesome parents can provide a better learning environment for their kids, then those kids will probably grow up to be more excited about learning, more involved in their own education, more respectful of other adults, and just as socially competent as their public schooled peers.
We're going to do a type of homeschooling called un-schooling, and while what we will teach our kids will probably differ, the bottom line is we are both going to do it for the same reason: because we can do better than the crap that is offered in public schools.
It's ironic that I support homeschooling so much and work in the public schools, but I want to teach because I know kids deserve a better education than they're getting. And bravo on blowing off the negative comments: your kids, your views, your choice. End of story.
Your concern about learning disabilities... every child I know with one, it was something their PARENTS saw and fought the school to recognize it and help them. Often it was the PARENT who did their own research and found effective ways to teach them in a way they can learn. Tell me how a teacher with 20 (most often more) students can have the time to dedicate to ONE student with a learning disability better than an educated, motivated, intelligent and humble parent who is willing to ask for help if needed? Simply, they can't. You will be a fabulous parent AND teacher Jenene, don't ever think different.
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