I got up early to help Art get ready for work, and I was going to go back to sleep. But now I'm not even remotely tired. My head is full of plans for the day (cleaning and grocery shopping and meal planning) and thoughts about the past year.
So much has changed in a year. Our perspective is quite different than it was at this time last year.
This time last year, I wasn't working, and we were barely surviving with Art's part time job. We couldn't cover our expenses by ourselves, and had to except A LOT of help from our parents. And I'm very grateful that they were able to help us. We could never pay them back.
We were so poor, that on TWO occasions, we couldn't afford toilet paper. TOILET PAPER. We ran out, and didn't have enough money to buy more, never mind enough money to fill our fridge or pay our bills. I was so ashamed and discouraged, and of course I couldn't blog about it.
Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew that God was good, but I sure couldn't feel it. I kept wondering how we were possibly going to get out of this mess. I kept wondering what God's plan was.
Now we both have full time jobs, we are more than able to meet all our expenses, and we still have plenty left over. Not only can we afford to fill our fridge, but I can afford to buy myself a new purse (which I did very recently). :D I can afford to get my jacket fixed when the zipper breaks. And we always have plenty of toilet paper.
There were parts of this past year that seemed really bleak, but other parts were still quite happy. We had the support and love of some very good friends. We had the love of a small church, even though we still didn't know the people very well. And we were in love. We found out that a hard year does not a bad marriage make. In the tough times, we had each other. And we had God.
I confess, I felt closer to God at this point last year than I do right now. I'm afraid I've gone the way of the Israelites: they cried out to God in their need, but after He came through for them, they didn't need Him anymore. I fear I'm starting to take God's goodness for granted. And I don't want that. I want to be ever thankful for all God has done for us.
So I have a little task for all of you: any time that I start to complain about my life, I need you to simply ask me, "Jenene, do you have toilet paper?" As long as we are at least able to afford to buy toilet paper, I know that we are truly blessed.
7 comments:
Jenene, thanks for that little (big) sermon on gratefulness and trusting God. I'm afraid many of us (including me) are guilty of those things...we become "self sufficient" so quickly. So let's remind ourselves regularly that He is our provider, He is the all sufficient one for everything!! Thanks again, and my love is always there for you guys! Mom
I have always been told, that the first year of marriage is the hardest. And I can truly understand that statement through my first year of marriage. I also had financial struggles ( from the time we met until the day we got married was 18mths, not long enough to fully understand the financial responsibilties that come with being married), but mostly it was a spiritual and emotional journey that made things tough.
And I am soooooo thankful that God kept to work in our life together. So many times I wondered how I could stay married for another 80 years! And now...I can't see it any other way.
God is AWESOME!!!!!
Wow, I didn't know that things were that bad that you couldn't afford toilet paper! God is a good God in times of need and times of abundance!
a little story about toilet paper and how God is good: The youth pastor at my church was sharing once about a time when money was really tight for him and his wife and they couldn't afford toilet paper. One day they came home to find a roll in their mailbox! It turns out it was a sample of a new variety and everyone was getting them, but it just goes to show that God even looks after your toiletry needs!
Good post Jenene - Derek and I were in a financial fix last year this time too! This post definitely applies to me. I'm like the Israelites too - when everything is great I tend to neglect the Lord. It's shameful. Especially with how faithful He's been to us this year (and always, really). I'm trying to do better at that too.
I have been able to relate to this post more than once and esp. now with being out of work for almost 2 years and as you moving to a coastal zone in Washington. I am in Aberdeen, where are you? Please stop by and visit my blog at www.quiltingranny.blogspot.com, I love visitors and anyone else living in the wet coast of Washington!
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