So I'm a youth mentor for the youth group at my church. Have I ever mentioned that before? I'm sorry if I didn't. I'm a mentor, and I also help lead worship. Youth is what occupies my Friday nights. The kids are loud, they are hyper, they are on fire for God (sometimes), they can be so incredibly mature, or so incredibly stupid. And I love them. I don't always know how to connect with them or relate to them, but I love them none the less.
I love seeing them grow ever so slowly and steadily through this journey called "TEENAGER." I love seeing what God is doing in the youth group, and what He is doing through the youth group. It's so encouraging. It builds my faith a little more each week.
I'm reminded over and over and over and over and over that He is faithful, and He is moving. He is doing the work, not us. He works through us, but it's still Him. We just have to show up and be willing.
Anyway, tonight we had a worship night with the kids, and the elders of the church. It was....amazing. The elders really wanted to pray for the youth and encourage them, and I think they needed it. Heck, I needed it.
Another amazing thing is how God always comes through for me on youth nights. Tonight was one of those nights where I really didn't want to go, but I knew that I had to, and that God was going to move. They say that the times you don't want to go are the times you really need to go.
Now, I love worship, I really do. I have a passion for it, it's where God moves in me and speaks to me, and....it's my element. (I also happen to have a degree in Music Ministry, so that works out really nicely).
But there are so many times when I come into youth group and I'm getting ready to do worship, and I just don't feel like it. I have a rotten attitude, I whine (in my head) and make up all sorts of excuses as to why I shouldn't participate this time. "God, I'm just not going to give it my all this time, because I don't want to. I'll fake it, and You can do what you do, okay?"
But God gets to me EVERY time (which is good). He tells me to surrender to Him and fix my attitude, because He won't work through me if I'm not faithful and willing. So tonight I started singing the first song, I lifted my hands, and just focused on Him. And it worked, like it does every time. I felt the presence of God, I was encouraged, my soul was lifted up. But only after I made the choice did the feelings come.
One of the songs we sang was "Better Is One Day In Your Courts." Now, I must tell you, I used to hate that song. I thought the chorus was so empty and lame. "Better is one day in Your courts?" Where are "Your courts"? This is totally not relevant.
But then God gave me a revelation a little while ago, and now I LOVE that song! And today while we were singing it, He gave me another revelation about it. The very first line of the song is "How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty." And as soon as I sang that line, I felt such an intimacy with God in that moment. I felt like I was literally in His house.
Like if I went to my cousin's house that she just decorated, and she decorated it especially for me, because she wanted me to like it, she wanted to bless me. As soon as I walk in, her whole heart is silently pleading that I love the house, that I absolutely love it! So of course, when I walk in there, it just feels so...perfect, and I would say to her, "This is such a lovely place! What a lovely home you have."
That's what I felt when I sang the first line of that song. That God had invited me into His very cozy, personal, intimate home, and He wanted desperately for me to love it. I felt like He was showing me all the rooms, and asking me over and over, "Do you like it Jenene? I painted it this colour just for you. I chose these decorations because I thought you would like them. Do you like it? Please say you like it." I felt like I was in God's home, and I loved it. It felt.....like a home! It was so intimate.
I can't really describe a feeling like that, but...I guess He felt like a Lover. He is my Lover, wooing me with the beautiful things He is doing just for me, because He loves me SO much, and He is just aching for me to love Him back. It was so incredible. I just got lost in the song.
I forgot that I was even singing, I forgot that I was on a stage, I forgot that the kids were there, I forgot about everything. It was just me and God in that moment. I was being spiritually swept off my feet by God. What a Love I have.
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