Filling Up My Spiritual Trust Fund

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie Ten Boom.

I was reading my friend Ruth's blog, and she was talking about walking into the unknown, and being able to trust God completely. I really needed to read that today. And it would have done my soul good had I read it yesterday. Or even last week.

The fact is: I'm worried. I've been worried for a while. Like, at least a month. And I don't know how that happened. Two months ago I was trusting God as I have never trusted Him before. I was walking in complete peace. And it felt so good. And then just like that, it was gone. But lately God has been calling (loudly) for me to return to Him and rest in the assurance of His provision.

I was having a pity party yesterday, and I was crying and pouting, and at one point I thought angrily to myself, "why can't I be a blade of grass? Life would be so much easier if I were a blade of grass!!!" Thinking back to that now, it's pretty funny. But in that moment of frustration, I'm pretty sure I meant it.

And then God's voice gently broke through the storm in my mind. "Jenene, if you were a blade of grass, you would most certainly be taken care of. And if you were more than grass, say, a flower (perhaps a lily?), I would say of you 'good' and 'beautiful', and I would care for you. And if you were more than a flower, perhaps a bird, I would look after you. (Matt. 6:25-30) \

But you are SO FAR above those things, how much MORE am I going to take care of you?! You are My child, My princess, made in My very image, I value you more than My own life. Everything is going to be OK."

Well God, feel free to repeat those words to me as often as You like. I desperately need to hear them. What's worse is that I'm worried about things that MAY happen in the distant future. I mean, we're not talking about later today, sometime tomorrow, or even next week. I'm worried about potential problems that could arise one year from now.

Now, it's good to think and plan ahead, but getting worked up like this is so pointless. So I'm making it my mission to become a prayer warrior for at least these next 12 months. I'll be an expert at trust after this. ;)