A Christmas Story

"Christmas shopping."

Now be honest. How many of you cringed when you read those words? Or at least felt a little pang of sorrow/frustration/anxiety/stress?

When someone says the words "Christmas shopping" is the response ever a smile? No. It's usually a look of pity. A look that says, "I'm sorry/I understand/Yikes/I'll pray for you."

At least, that's I how would respond. I don't know when it happened, but I discovered that I dread the Christmas season. I'm what you would call an introvert. I like the quiet life. I don't like being busy. Even when I have no plans, I have plans: I plan on doing nothing! And I love it! Give me a book or a puzzle, or an evening at home with some TV and some conversation with my mom, and I am so happy!

I rarely get bored, even when I have several "no-plan" evenings in a row. That's just the way I like it. So all the stress and busyness and chaos of Christmas goes completely against my nature. My whole mind and body begs to not have to take part in all the hustle and bustle. But I don't really have a choice. And so I go.

In fact, I went yesterday. And it really wasn't as horrific as my mind plays it up to be. But I still don't enjoy it.

In all seriousness, what happened to Christmas? There is supposed to be joy in the world, and peace on earth. But instead there are grumpy shoppers and stressed-out people always waiting in lines, always stuck in traffic, never finding a parking spot. There are tired clerks and cashiers, too emotionally exhausted to try and spread any Christmas cheer.

And there are the endless crowds, all of them too busy and in-a-hurry to show a little kindness. And I know that I'm making blanket statements here, it isn't always like this, but sometimes it feels that way. It's enough to make me cry. In fact, last week, it did.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. Christmas is supposed to be magical. All the decorations, the food, the excitement and anticipation of eating and opening gifts and spending time with loved ones. And this certainly happens.

But if the prelude to Christmas is madness....well, I wasn't looking forward to Christmas anymore. I was actually looking forward to after Christmas, when things finally settle down and return to normal(ish). And I hated that I felt that way.

Art is going to be here in 3 days. I should be deliriously happy to see him, and I am. But I am not looking forward to the drive to the airport. Nor the trip to the mall afterward. This little introvert does not do well in slushy traffic jams or push-n-shove shopping. Not even with my love beside me.

Last Friday when I was all upset, I forced myself to pray a prayer: "Lord, please change my attitude." And to be completely honest, I prayed it because I had to be at youth group in 20 minutes, and I couldn't show up all teary-eyed and depressed. But I truly wanted to have a great evening. I wanted to serve those kids happily, and enjoy blessing them with gifts.

By the end of the evening, I was full of joy and peace. So when we had to go shopping yesterday, I prayed that prayer again. I didn't want to be stressed or upset. I wanted to take it all with a grain of salt, and somehow in the midst of all the craziness, be able to smile and genuinely wish people a Merry Christmas.

And do you know what happened? We got in a car accident. (Bet you didn't see that one coming.)

It was a young male driver, and he backed right into us (and right onto us!) The hood of my mom's car has dent in it, but other than that, we are all fine. No whiplash, no broken lights, the car still works, the other guy's car has no damage.

Unfortunately, because he is so young, he will lose his drivers. And I truly feel bad for him. I don't feel bad for our car, and I certainly didn't feel bad for the rest of the evening. It didn't ruin my day. But that guy. He was so nice about it, and completely honest!

When my mom has to speak with his parents, I hope she conveys that they raised a good son, because he was as kind as anybody could be in that situation.

And so, while my mom was taking down his information, I asked him about his evening. About the movie that he was going to see, and that we were both on our way to find some food to eat, so this was only making us more hungry.

And when he walked back to his car, I wished him a Merry Christmas. And I prayed that he would have a merry Christmas, despite the fact that his parents will be mad at him. Despite the fact that he will have to come up with a lot of money very soon to pay for the damage. And despite the fact that he will have his driver's license taken away.

And then it all came into perspective for me. Surely I can have a merry Christmas despite the cold. And despite the crowds and traffic. And despite the fact that I don't like busyness. I can choose to focus on the negative and be a scrooge.

Or I can focus on the fact that I get a few days off of work. And that the snow is very pretty (when I don't have to drive in it). And how Christmas decorations transform even the plainest of rooms. And that I really am looking forward to the Christmas gatherings, and the meals, and the presents. And all the Christmas cards that we have been getting at work just bless my socks off!

Last week I was bemoaning the fact that Christmas isn't anything like the front of a Christmas card. But as with any message of hope, it won't necessarily be reflected in the world around us.

All that matters is that it is reflected in my heart. All the crowds and traffic jams in the world can't ruin God's most precious gift of salvation that was given to us on that fateful night in Bethlehem.