Christians Are People Too

Last Wednesday afternoon found me venting to a friend of mine, via Facebook. My opening line was as follows: "Sometimes, I get mad at Christian bloggers, and I want to slap them."

I realize how horrible that sounds, and I've since cooled off, and no longer have the urge to inflict pain on my fellow blogging Christians. But at the time, I was very angry, as well as exhausted.

The previous two nights yielded very little sleep. Sophia woke up no fewer than 12 times in 13 hours. Both nights. Her longest stretch of sleep was just shy of two hours. Sometimes, she woke up multiple times in the same hour.

Sometime during the second night, I tried to distract myself from the frustration building inside of me by composing a blog post (in my head) regarding these nightly trials. And then I realized that I would never be able to publish such a post, because it would make me look like a bad Christian.

If someone is a believer in Christ, then the consequence of that should be that they become more like Christ. This should be evident in all aspects of their life, including on their blogs. And someone who is Christ-like wouldn't so easily lose her joy, peace, and patience over something as trivial as not getting enough sleep. And if she did lose her cool, she certainly wouldn't complain about in a public forum, because then she is no longer setting a Christ-like example.

I do think it is important for Christian bloggers to censor themselves and choose their words and topics carefully. But I also think that sometimes, Christian bloggers are trying so hard to look like good Christians that they forget that they need to be human too.

As a fellow Christian blogger, I don't want my blog to become a place where all I do is rant and rave. As I put it to my friend, nobody wants to read Prairie Girl Gone Negative. But I also don't want to (inadvertently) pretend that my life is all sunshine and rainbows, so that nobody can relate to me. I don't want to turn readers away because they think I have a perfect life, and they're jealous.

This is how I felt last week. I looked at all these beautiful Christian ladies with their beautiful blogs about their wonderful lives, and I got jealous. I felt like a bad mom and a bad Christian because my life didn't look like their seemingly-perfect lives. And I hate feeling that way.

I know that the jealousy thing is something I need to work on. And I'm not saying that Christian bloggers should make a habit of airing their dirty laundry. But sometimes, a mom needs to know that she's not the only one who doesn't have a perfect, happy, sleeping-through-the-night baby. I need to know that I'm not the only Christian woman who experiences occasional moments of such intense anger and frustration, that I want to scream, and cry, and pull my hair out.

I want my blog to be a place where others find joy and encouragement, but I also want it to be a place where people find relief because they know that they are not the only imperfect Christians/humans out there. It's a delicate balance that won't be easy to maintain. But that is my goal. And I hope that I can find other Christian blogs that offer both sides as well.

Don't worry, I'm not going to dump my entire blogroll and go in search of a completely new set of blogs. I also don't believe that my assessment of other Christian bloggers was entirely accurate. My exhaustion was causing me to overreact. It was short-lived and I have since become more rational and realistic.

Also, both Sophia and I have been sleeping much better since those two awful nights. I figured out what the problem was: her room was too cold! It was a simple solution of dressing her a little warmer at night. And now I feel silly for getting so upset. But all's well that ends well.

Anyway, these are the thoughts that have been swirling around my brain this past week. Also, kuddos to two real-life friends of mine (Kat and Mandi) who had the courage to blog about some less-than-stellar recent experiences.

In conclusion: I'm so thankful that God is always good because sometimes life isn't. And there is no shame in admitting that.

Sophia's 7 Month Update

Sophia is officially over half way to her first birthday!

I have no idea how much she weighs, but she wears 9 month clothing now, and most of it is snug on her. I'm planning on buying her a few things in preparation for winter, and I'm going to skip right to the 12 month sizes.

She's very talkative, and has lots of different syllables and sounds. No actual words yet, but she often sounds like she's saying "Dada" or "Daddy", so I've been trying to encourage her to say it, and hopefully associate the word with her dad.

She can sit upright on her own, and hardly falls down anymore.

When she does fall over, she's getting good at putting her elbow out to brace herself so she doesn't ht her head. Sometimes, she even manages to twist mid-fall and roll onto her stomach! Clever girl.

Both of her grandmas, and my friend, bought her some new clothes, including this adorable outfit, with a matching bib. Check out the cute ruffles on her bum!

She wore it when she had her third date with Zachary.

I think he was impressed.

She still doesn't sleep through the night, but for the most part, she's only been waking up once. Unfortunately, she has a bad habit of turning that one middle-of-the-night waking into a playtime. I'm not sure how to prevent this, but I'm going to keep trying with consistently waking her up at the same time every day, and making sure she takes proper naps.

She finally had her dedication October 16th. Here she is before church.

The dedication was pretty simple. First, our pastor gave us three tips for raising Godly children: pray with them, let them see us do our devotions, and look for those teachable moments where we can show how God's Word applies to the situation.

Second, Art said a prayer for our family.

Finally, our pastor anointed Sophia with oil and prayed for us.

And gave Sophia a rose!

[Side note: I didn't realize how short the pants were on her dedication outfit. Once I got her dressed, I realized that she looked kind of like a pirate!]

She's still not crawling or scooting, but during her tummy time this morning, I observed her pushing herself ever so slightly backwards! So we'll keep working on that.

We're discovering more ways to make her laugh, and I maintain that as she gets older, life with a baby gets easier and better.

Oh, Didn't I Tell You?

I took a bit of a hiatus.

See, two weeks ago, I had a really busy week. But it was a good busy (and you will rarely hear me say that. In general, I hate being busy). It was full of cleaning and making dinners or dinner prep, making baby food, running errands, and laundering everything. I was incredibly productive and it felt good.

Then last week, I decided to take it easy. Waaaaaaay easy. I did as little as possible, and it was wonderful.

The weather around here has been alternating between beautiful fall days, and rainy fall days. On the rainy days, all I did was relax and drink tea. On the sunny days, all we did was sit outside and play and read.

It's been nice just to slow down, and do a whole lot of nothing.

Side note: for those wondering if I solved the ammonia problem, the soak-the-diapers-in-the-bathtub method worked!

Next time (if there is a next time), I will just do that one first.

Anyway, I plan to get back into the blogging thing. I've got a bunch of posts planned for the next couple of weeks, including Sophia's seven month update.

Stay tuned, and happy Monday!