Out of the Mouths of Babes

I've set this post to publish late Friday morning, but when I started writing it, it was past midnight, and when I finished, it was nearly 1:30 am.

My bedtime has long since come and gone (and then some), I am tired, and I so wish I was asleep right now. But I am still up because Sophia is having "staying-asleep issues" again. And also gas. I'm thinking maybe her tummy hurts a little bit?

Normally, by this point, I would be way past the end of my rope, but tonight, my spirits are high. Why, you ask?

Well, it might be because I finally got my hands (and mouth) on some chocolate. [I was so desperate for a fix that I resorted to eating chocolate chips straight from the bag, which is really too bad because I was going to use them to bake cookies today, and now I don't have enough].

Or maybe I'm in such a surprisingly good mood thanks to a little blog called Rants From Mommyland.*

A while back, they did a three-part series on the funny things that kids say. The posts are quite literally causing me to laugh out loud (but not too loud, lest I wake Sophia). And the comments that follow each post? A goldmine of funny.

Here is one such comment:

My husband, when he cooks for himself, uses a lot of hot sauce, tuna, and whatever else he finds in the fridge or pantry. One day he was making himself lunch, and our 6yo daughter said: "Daddy, sometimes when you cook it smells bad to little children. I'm one of those children."

Please, do yourself a favor and kick off the weekend with heaping dose of humorous kid-speak.

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 3.

*Warning: This blog is not always PG. Especially these posts, which contain swearing (mostly accidental), potty humor, and anatomy "lessons."

A Follow-Up to Yesterday's Post

After I published the post below, I put up a notification on Facebook about it, because some of my friends (who do not have blogs of their own) read my blog. My friend Libby left this comment (on Facebook), and I thought it was important to address it:

"For those of us unaccustomed to these things [the world of cloth diapering and ammonia problems], can you explain what that is and why it's a bad thing? Besides the smell?"

Libby, I'm glad you asked, because now I get to play Teacher and give you all a mini science lesson on pee! I sure know how to kick off the weekend, don't I? Nothin' but fun times around here...

Anyway.

The reason humans urinate and defecate is to rid the body of waste. The components of waste are toxic, and if the body did not have a method of getting rid of these toxins, our bodies would be greatly harmed, and we would die.

One of the toxins that needs to be eliminated is nitrogen. When nitrogen bonds with hydrogen, Ammonia is created. Since peeing out straight ammonia would damage the urethra, it is converted into Urea, and that is where we get urine from.

So, a baby urinates into a diaper. That diaper needs to be cleaned. How do you clean something? You use water and soap to break down the substances so they can be eliminated.

When the urine in a cloth diaper is broken down, ammonia is released. If the diaper is not properly cleaned, the ammonia can be left behind.

Ammonia is caustic (or corrosive). It irritates and burns skin. Ammonia in a diaper will quickly cause an extremely painful red and blistering diaper rash.

So that's why I'm attacking the ammonia problem like a crazy mad woman. I need to save my baby's bum!

Callie wanted to know if ammonia will ruin cloth diapers. No, ammonia will not ruin cloth diapers. And remember, not only is the ammonia issue solvable, it's preventable! Rinse well for happy diapers and happier baby bottoms.

A Is For Ammonia

So you know how I said that cloth diapers aren't really that much work? Well, it's true most of the time.

But then there are times when it's a lot of work. Like this week? We are battling the dreaded ammonia. [Which is still preferable to the very, very dreaded yeast problem. Dear Jesus, please protect us from yeast. I don't want to have to quit cloth diapering.]

A couple of days ago, I opened up the diaper pail to begin a load of diaper laundry, and the smell just hit me. My nostrils were burning, my eyes starting watering, my head started hurting...I thought to myself, "Oh, THAT'S what ammonia smells like." I had read descriptions of it, but when you actually encounter it? It is awful and unmistakable.

[Also, if you've ever dyed your hair, you've already encountered the horrible odor. It is a smell you do not want coming out of your diapers!]

Thankfully, I was prepared for this situation. During one my (many) baby showers, someone gifted me with Rockin Green's Ammonia Bouncer, designed to get rid of "the stinkies." So I busted out the detergent, read the directions, and did my usual laundry routine (cold rinse, hot wash with detergent, cold rinse), with an extra hot ammonia-bouncing wash thrown in there. Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

The next day, every time I changed Sophia's diaper, the ammonia smell was there. Faint, but present. So I decided to do two things:

1. Say a prayer of thanks that Sophia's bum wasn't flaming red (although it's getting there - poor girl!).

2. Kick into high gear. Pull out all the stops. Beat. This. Ammonia. DOWN.

New wash routine: cold rinse, hot wash with ammonia bouncer with three pots of boiling water added in, hot wash with detergent, warm wash with baking soda and vinegar, and finally, three cold rinses. I wish I could sun dry the diapers, but I don't have the time, and it's raining, and apartment policy states that our decks are not to be used to dry laundry.

And the above routine? I get to do it twice! Because I can only wash half of Sophia's diapers at a time. Otherwise she wouldn't have any diapers to wear.

So Plan A didn't totally work, Plan B is still in process, but if the ammonia still isn't gone, I have a Plan C: put Sophia in disposables for a couple of days, and soak every last diaper, cover, insert, wipe, and wet bag in a bathtub full of hot water, plus boiling water from the stove, plus a few scoops of ammonia bouncer, and leave it over night. Then toss them in the washer and rinse, rinse, rinse. [This seemed to work for Autumn Beck, who writes AllAboutClothDiapers.com.]

And if Plan C doesn't work? I'm not even going there. Dear Sweet Lord in Heaven, please let one of these plans work. We cannot afford disposables. Many women before have battled ammonia and won. Be gracious unto me and unto Sophia's diapers. Amen.

So for those who are currently cloth diapering or will cloth diaper, you may be wondering if there is a way to avoid ammonia problems altogether. According to one mom, who commented on Autumn's get-rid-of-ammonia post, the key is more water. Spray or rinse every single diaper as soon as it comes off your baby's bum (yes, even the pee diapers). Add an extra rinse at the end of your laundry routine.

[You could also add a sprinkle of Funk Rock Ammonia Bouncer to every pre-wash, if you can afford it. According to the Rockin Green website, one bag will last you about two months.]

I am definitely going to start doing more rinsing. Yes, it's a little more time, and a little more work, but I am more than happy to add these (relatively easy) extra steps to my routine if it means keeping Sophia in cloth diapers, and keeping ammonia OUT. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

But until I've eliminated the stinkies for good, the next couple of days will find me spending a lot of quality time with my washing machine, and Sophia's bum spending a lot of quality time with the fresh air around her.

Ah, the Mommy life.