How To Freak Out One Week Before Your Wedding

Step 1: Finish the last item on your To-Do list and rejoice! You can finally relax!

Step 2: Reward yourself by taking a much-needed bathroom break.

Step 3: Become annoyed when your toilet doesn't flush properly. Again.

Step 4: Hunt down the icky plunger and carry it gingerly (using only the tips of two fingernails) to your bathroom.

Step 5: Plunge that toilet as best you know how (is "plunge" a verb in this case?)

Step 6: Sigh in disappointment and greater annoyance that your toilet still doesn't flush completely.

Step 7: Plunge it some more, and then leave it for a while.

Step 8: Come back an hour later, and start to get really ticked off when it STILL doesn't flush.

Step 9: Repeat steps 7 and 8 many times throughout the evening.

Step 10: Have a series of realizations:
a) That your dad will be away for the ENTIRE evening.
b) That the best plumber in town is quite ill right now.
c) That you're quite selfish in worrying about your toilet while the plumber and his family are actually dealing with something serious.
d) That your fiance will be arriving tomorrow, your best friend and bridesmaid will be arriving on Wednesday, and your fiance's family will be arriving on Thursday.

Step 11: Give up and have a bowl of ice cream (with strawberry sauce and chocolate sauce)

Step 12: Take a picture of your poor, ailing commode (complete with icky plunger) and blog about it.