Work Part 2: A Happy Ending

It's been a few days since last Thursday's drama. And it's going much better. Here's the scoop:

My manager had a meeting with my coworker on Friday, and on Monday. My manger told me that my coworker told her everything she had told me. So at least there's no conflicting story. She was completely honest. But when my manager dug a little deeper, she found out what was going on.

My coworker's comment about not being paid enough? She meant that she was so stressed, and that it was too much stress for what her wage is. And you know what? She's right. She shouldn't be that stressed, and she isn't being paid enough to be that stressed out every single day. She said she feels as stressed as a manager would be. And that's too much. I just wish she had said that in the first place! She made it sound like she was just unhappy with her wage, so she was going to rebel by slacking off and not listening to me.

And what as all that about her thinking I didn't know what I was doing? This is interesting: she thought I had been at my job for a really long time. Like, years and years. And in her mind, I seemed pretty inexperienced for having been at the company that long! But when my manager turned it around for her, and let her know I had been there less than one year, suddenly, she was impressed! Now, I seem pretty capable for only having been around 11 months. So that's good.

Then there was her thing about my being anal. I guess it hadn't been explained to her what my job really is, or what a Lead is, for that matter. So my manager explained that I had been asked, by the head of our whole office, to take the position of a lead, because I was the most knowledgeable and experienced person in what I do. And that part of my job is to come up with standard work on how we should go about our jobs, and to correct people, so that they improve and grow in their knowledge. My manager also explained that I don't just pull stuff out of the air. I receive input from all the managers of every department, because what we do affects everyone down the line.

I think my coworker had gotten the impression that I was just being a picky princess on a power trip, and that I was trying to do things my way. But it's not MY way. It's THE way. Our new database does what it does, so I've learned how to work within it to do what we need to do, in our subsection of the department.

Once my manager explained all these things to her, she was much more cooperative. My manager also made it clear to her that, even if she is stressed, she can't snap at other people. And if she's having issues with coworkers or standard work or stress, or anything, she needs to talk to management, not to me. She's actually been told this on more than one occasion, so hopefully it sticks this time.

My manager also told her that if she is truly unhappy at this job, she needs to really think about whether it's best to stay or go. So my coworker said she would take the weekend and give it some serious thought. And as of yesterday, she's staying!

So we get to keep a valuable part of the team, and hopefully, things can go a little bit more smoothly between us. I still tiptoe (so to speak) around her, but I'm trying to be light-hearted and gentle when making corrections, and trying not to make it seem like I'm picking on her.

So that's the that! I can't say I'm looking forward to this summer. I'm already starting to feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done. And it's only going to get crazier, for at least anther month. I will have to learn to delegate. It's on my list of things to do/figure out this week. Except I don't even have a list yet. Maybe I should make one.....

And I'm done talking about work now.

Let's Talk About Work, Shall We?

Here's a word no one likes: insubordination.

Last week Friday, I experienced it for the first time. Now, I'm not some high and mighty boss. But I am a team lead. Some aspects of my job are answering questions, training, writing standard work, and making sure people are following standard work. So, sometimes corrections need to be made.

At my job, I ask the members of team to make their own corrections. That way, the learn about the things that they are doing wrong, and eventually, they make less mistakes. So I asked this one coworker to fix something she had done.

Now. The thing is. She hadn't done it wrong, per say. But there was a more preferable way, and I didn't want her to get in the habit of doing things in the less preferable way. Unfortunately, it was going to be a lot of work, and she had already spent quite a bit of time on it. I understand, perfectly, how disheartening that can be, do undo all your hard work, and then do it all over again. But that's the way work goes sometimes. Right? Am I the only one to think this?

She didn't seem to think so. She FLAT. OUT. REFUSED. She went as far as to tell me that she was 110% sure that she did it right, and that it would be fine. When I tried to explain to her why we didn't do it that way, she interrupted me, and told me that if I didn't like the way she had done, than I have a problem, not her.

So I brought the work back to my desk, quietly escorted myself to the bathroom, silently screamed my head off for about a minute, and then calmed down, and did the work that she refused to do.

But, being a lead, I wanted to see if I could turn this situation around. I tried to see things from her point of view, and even went as far as to email someone about it our standard work (someone who influences a lot of my decisions about standard work), and asked if we could change it, because the "less preferable" way would be easier.

I also spoke to my manager about the situation. I told her I was shocked and hurt, and I didn't know what to do. My manager advised me to email my coworker, and ask if everything was alright. I was advised not to rule out personal issues as well, and to assure my coworker that she is allowed to talk to someone about this stuff. So I did. And got no reply.

Until today. The same situation came up, and I walked over to my coworker, and even before I had the chance to open my mouth, she said, "I won't make the change Jenene, and there is nothing you can do about it." (By the way, this person is pushing 60, and when she was hired? I thought she was the sweetest and most pleasant person in the world. Try to imagine your grandma having the biggest attitude in the world. Yeah. Unbelievable.)

So I asked if I could have a conversation with her in private, and when I asked her why she was so hesitant to follow our standard work, and her words were FAR more shocking than the first time we butted heads. Here are the following reasons she gave me for not doing what I had asked her to do:

1. She isn't being paid enough to do what she does. (Yet she's never spoken to anyone about this, and she won't quit, so......)

2. She thinks I'm being too anal about all of it. (Um, hi: it's called standard work for a reason. The way we're supposed to the work is the way we're supposed to do the work. That's not called anal. That's called doing your job.)

3. [You're guys are really going to like this one]: she thinks that I don't know what I'm doing. (Her words. I am apparently unfit to do my job. Never mind the fact that my manager asked me to take this position, and I have trained almost 30 people on various aspects of what I do.)

4. She told me that she thinks all I know how to do is follow a checklist. (Basically, I'm a flaming moron.)

5. According to her, I contradict myself. All the time. (This one is actually halfway accurate. We are changing our standard work ALL THE TIME. And it's frustrating. But again, part of the job.)

6. According to her, I don't understand how things are done around here, but she does. (She has worked for us a grand total of 4 months. Me? A year. Which isn't a long time. But it's long enough to make her statement completely untrue.)

7. Finally, the most bizarre accusation: I have anger issues, and I'm taking them out on her. (Who here thinks she should be pointing that finger the other way?)


Yes. This is all almost verbatim. She said all these things, to my face, in a matter of minutes. And after I got over the shock (and had myself a little cry in the ladies room), I went about the rest of my day, happy and helpful and cheerful, and SHE remained glum and continued to snap at people for the next seven hours. I had not accused her of anything. I simply asked her questions, some of which she answered (she didn't feel like giving me specifics about which parts of my job I'm not fit to do).

I simply told myself to get over it, because, well, I had to. I still had a job to do, questions to answer, and people to help. Being angry the rest of the day does absolutely no good. I took the high road, and truly? I'm over it. (Well, almost. As you can tell, I still had a bit of sarcasm I needed to get out of my system.) But I'm harboring no hurt or resentment, because I know it won't help. And in a strange way, I'm kind of relieved to know the truth. I no longer have to wonder why she's so testy.

I do wonder why she doesn't quit though. I mean, she is CLEARLY unhappy. It doesn't make any sense. I had another meeting with my manager today, who has now taken over the situation, because obviously, this is not a part of my job, and my manager is convinced that she's trying to get herself fired. Which also doesn't make any sense. Maybe she wants to collect unemployment. Which is worse than collecting a wage.

So that's the unexpected drama at work. I never thought, in 10 trillion years, that I would ever have to deal with something like this. I work with such amazing people, there is NO ONE at the office that I dislike, even a little. And I guess I was naive enough to think that, these days, anyone would be grateful for a job. My coworker sure seemed like she was grateful. At first.

I honestly don't know whether we can convince her to quit, or if she'll be fired, and I'm not even sure that I want those things to happen. Yes, she can be difficult to deal with. But she is a valuable member of our team (and I have told her this) and we would be in trouble without her help. On the other hand, this is unacceptable behavior, and it's bad for the work environment, and it looks bad on my manager, if we just let her stay and continue to be belligerent.

Something's got to change, and I'll find out what this is tomorrow. Maybe. In the meantime, I'm going to be as kind and gentle as I can be, I'm going to brush it off if she lashes out, and do my best not to aggravate the situation anymore. And that's all I can do.

My Mom, the Wonder Woman

I just wanted to quickly wish my mommy a Happy Mother's Day! Not only is she the most wonderfullest mom in the world, but she's also a sweet grandmother, a great pilot, and a pretty good astronaut. She does it all! ;)

I love you mom!